The Real Price of Children

The Price of Children This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice. The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into: $8,896.66 a year, $741.30 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day. Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140? Naming rights. First, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day. Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate. A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day. For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to: finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to: keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day. For $160,140, there is not greater bang for your buck. You get to be the hero just for: retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. You get a front row seat to history to witness the: . first step, . first word, . first bra, . first date, and . first time behind the wheel. You get to the immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you are lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever and love them without limits.

So . . one day they will like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!! Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren!!!!

Mother's Day Musings

Mother's Day is a bittersweet holiday for me.  I have often felt my life only began when our first child was born and I became a mother.  Tyler arrived far too early and was severely handicapped from birth injury.  Learning to love and care for this precious exceptional child forced this perfectionist-driven and highly impatient person to open her heart to the gift of unconditional love. His life required numerous hospitalizations and hours upon hours of therapy. However, Tyler's compromised health and limited physical abilities never impaired his capacity to love.  His expressive eyes and winsome smile spoke volumes and conveyed his joy of being with his family.

This formerly impatient and often critical woman waited nine and a half years to hear her boy speak. God had granted me patience and had shown me the beauty and inherent grace in imperfections.  Tyler used an augmentative communication device or AAC, programmed for his needs, to pick out phrases and then "voice" them with a press of a button, mounted on his wheel chair head array.  When given a menu of 30 phrases to choose from, he chose "Mom, I love you" as his 'first' spoken words. They were some of the sweetest words I've ever heard.  How I long to hear him again.  I miss him so much.

Of course, by finally giving Tyler a voice, it was another window into the fascinating workings of his mind.  We always appreciated his smile and infectious laugh, but now, he had a voice and could joke.  I'll never forget one time, when Tyler kept saying "Mom" over and over again. It was rather like a scene from Family Guy, with the notable exception that he did not stop at the 45 second mark, but kept up the "Mom" entreaty for 45 minutes.  I kept asking him, "did he need a drink?" Big Tyler grin.  "Do you want out of the wheelchair?" Big Tyler grin.  "Are you hungry?"  Bigger Tyler grin. "Mom. Mom. Mom."  I was getting a little weary of the "moms" by now and told Tyler, "I'm going to take a nap on the  couch and when you can tell me what you want, I'll help you, but not until then!"  I stomped over to the couch and turned my back to him.   As I faced the wall, feeling a bit guilty, I could hear Tyler clicking his way though his dictionary and picking out words slowly but very deliberately.  After ten minutes of scanning and clicking, I hear....."Mom, BIG BUTT" and hysterical laughter.  Yes, Tyler, my love, momma has a big butt.  And my dearest angel, I still do.